Stickers are FUN!

Had a blast playing with Cal and Jao with their stickers.  Since they have tons of stickers, Cal initially would a get a sticker and tell me if she likes it, to stick it on her shirt. Jao joined in on the fun but used his Papa as his sticker book. Cal and Jao were laughing so hard, they found it so silly.  Nothing really beats simple joys and hearing their unadulterated laughter.

Custom Furniture to aid Cal in her therapy

I have yet to find a shop in Manila that caters to special needs equipment or furniture store to aid my daughter in her therapy.  Unlike in the U.S. wherein you have specialized stores catering to the needs of special children.

In order for us to aid Cal in therapy, together with all her therapists we had to acquire the services of our local carpenter, pattern the designs on what is available online and hope that it would serve its purpose. We specifically chose therapy aids that are mostly made of wood because it would be easier for the carpenter to do it.

Here are some of her therapy aids that we customized.

1.  Stander

2.  School Chair

3.  Walking Aid

4.  House Chair/Sofa

5.  Corner Chair (Mid Back)

6.  Corner Chair (Full Back)

7.  Standing Aid 

8.  High Chair

I Believe in Love at First Sight

Yes, it happened to me and my husband but not to each other but with our foster child Jao.  The first time I saw him I fell in love with him.  He has such beautiful eyes and the first time that our eyes locked together, I felt that he was telling me "please bring me home".

We filed our intent to be foster parents and submitted our requirements as fast as we can.  We didn't prepare baby things because we didn't know whether we would get a boy or a girl when we finally get our license as foster parents.  We prayed and was really hoping that Jao will be given to us to be nurtured.

May 18, we got a call that we can fetch our foster child and that it was Jao who will be given to us.  We had to request that we need to buy all his things and we need a bit more time.  It was agreed that we will fetch him May 19.  In the span of 2 hours, we bought a play pen, high chair, clothes, bottles, powdered milk and other baby stuff.  His yaya was not yet here too so I called my Mom and requested if she can stay with us together with her maid so that they can help out in taking care of Jao. 

The first time my daughter and Jao met.

May 19, we finally brought him home with us.  We were so elated and excited for him to come home.  We didn't have a hard time feeding him.  I followed his cues on when he wanted a nap, when he was hungry and when he wanted to play.  Night time was a different story altogether.  When he was about to sleep, he was crying. A gut wrenching cry that seems to say I am confused and I am not familiar with everybody.  I was heartbroken while he was crying. The only assurance that I can give him was a tight hug while repeatedly telling him we love him and we are his family.  My daughter kept on saying it's ok Jao, we love you.  After sometime he managed to fall asleep.

It was the start of happier times as a family.

Rejection......

One of the low moments for me was when it was time to find a school for cal.  As a first time Mom, I had no background on the good schools and clueless about progressive vs. traditional schools.  My dilemma was further compounded because I needed to find a school that accepts special needs children.  On the onset I didn't want her to attend just a SPED school.  My reason was that she needed socialization, all her therapies are one on one. She needs to socialize with kids her age.  

Our Dev Ped couldn't recommend a school that will let her be integrated or partially mainstreamed.  He recommended us to a SPED School but I was half hearted about it.  I inquired but unfortunately there were no slots open for her.

I resorted to surfing the Internet to find a school that accepts children with special needs.  It was a tough search.  I would search for the highly recommended pre-schools and would read their background if they accept special needs children.  Not only a handful we're accepting special needs children, most of them does not accept children with physical disability.  My heart broke each time I inquired because it felt like rejection after rejection.  I felt that my daughter was being rejected without giving her a chance to show her abilities.  Yes, she is differently abled, yes she has cerebral palsy, yes she needs additional support while in school but she is also very intelligent.  Her speech might be hard to understand but cognitively she is at par or even better with the other kids who are the same age as her.  I couldn't help but really cry a lot during this time.  I felt that my daughter was being discriminated and I couldn't do anything about it.

I stopped searching for a month.  I just couldn't face and handle all the rejections once again.  When school was about to start, I started searching again until I found  school that accepts special needs children.  I contacted them and they said they accept cerebral palsy children.  We were scheduled for an assessment two days before school started.  They were quite impressed with Cal and they recommended her to be mainstreamed with all the kids in the toddler class.  Imagine my happiness and elation when I heard the news. I thank God that He really has a plan for everything and to never despair.  

Cal started school in 2012 and she loved every minute of it. Her yaya needs to stay with her the whole time because she needs to be assisted I every aspect of her gross and fine motor skills.  It did not hinder Cal from excelling in school. During her moving up day, she was awarded academic excellence and I couldn't help but cry with so much happiness. My daughter is a fighter and nobody can put her down.

Phot of us during her moving up day...

My daughter Cal

Let me start of with our story.  My daughter Cal was an almost full term baby (born at 36 weeks and 2 days).  Pregnancy was smooth with no complications. My water bag leaked and I started contractions late evening March 28. Gave birth naturally on March 29, 2009 at 10:18pm.  She was slightly janundiced and had inital feeding problems.  She was not sucking well enough that she lost weight in her first 5 days of life.  With the guidance and help of our pedia who is a staunch advocate for breastfeeding, we successfully recovered and feeding never became an issue again. 

At 6 months, I started noticing that she was not hitting her milestones (i.e rolling, sitting, crawling, etc.).  Raised the flag with our pedia and initially they just said that she might just be delayed. They recommended to increase her tummy time.  We religiously did that but by 7 months there were no improvements. We again consulted our pedia and this time they recommended that we go see a developmental pedia.  Inital assessment of the Dev Ped was that she had global developmental delay and she would need PT and eventually OT.  At this point, we disn't have any inkling that we were dealing with cerebral palsy.   We then proceeded to go to the therapy center recommended by the Dev Ped.  Imagine our shock during the inital assessment of the PT that she had cerebral palsy.  We were devastated.  

Initially, it was shock, anger, anxiety, sadness, and then fear. It was mixed emotions and we didn't know where to start.  At some point I was entering into depression just thinking of what the future may hold for my daughter. It was my husband together with our closest friend who pulled me out of the depression.  What strucked me the most was when my husband posted the question to me, "Does your love for our daughter any less given that she has special needs?"  That really woke me up, I was so busy wallowing in depression and thinking about the future that I was not enjoying every minute I spent with my daughter.  Instead of focussing on what she cannot do, I focussed on what she can do.  I also started researching everything about cerebral palsy.  

I read up on cerebral palsy not to figure out what caused it but what can we do at this point. I realized that why should I focus my energy on finding the answer on why she has cerebral palsy, it will not answer the pressing need of what can be done to help her.  

At 8 months old, she started PT.  We went through several PT's, OT's and Speech Therapists.  It was also a trial and error on our part, mainly because for me it's not as simple as doing the motions or the exercises.  It was also vital that the therapist gets to know my daughter and try to figure out what works best for her. We have encountered therapists who are just so structured that they were not in tuned with my daughter that rendered a session or months of therapy pointless.  We also had experiences of her having " pilay" because the therapist was not really working with her body.

Luckily, after the trial and error we have found the best team for her.  She has 2 PT's, 1 OT and 1 speech.  Aside from school everyday from 8:30-12pm, she has therapy everyday.  Does it become tiring for her? Yes, it does but she she needs it. Does it break my heart? Of course it does but I needed to do tough love in this case.

Me....

Mama to 2 kids. My eldest is a girl and she has cerebral palsy. The second is a boy and is currently our foster child (hoping to be our adopted son soon).

This blog talks about my journey on how it is to be a Mom to my children.  I love being a Mom.  It has been challenging, frustrating, heartbreaking but nothing compares to the pure joy my kids have given me.

Here my two kids :